HELLO!

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ME♥
HELLO!welcome to my blog, my name is khanungnit sathianphaptrakoon u can call me christina or yong for short:) i m a mixed blood girl , my dad is from hong kong n mum from thailand, the reason y i blog is because i want to keep a memory of my teenage life. Lastly i hope u readers who enter this blog will love it HAHA!:D


what i want..
i want happiness, i want to be a successful business women, i want the best man in the world HAHAHAHA,...moreeeee



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Since 12-08-2009

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Monday, April 16, 2007
i miss your beautiful smile..♥ 4/16/2007 09:12:00 PM

there is always something pulling me back


I shld say i did not know or somehow realise wat i was doing all along. Parents warned me to look where i'm heading or wat i m doing or wat i have changing into. I let it slip off like holding grains of sands in my hand, when i try to hold it tight it seems hard n i let it go. I miss my family terribly , it's been weeks since i last talked to them , i miss their naggings i miss their scoldings i miss them all. Would you believe me, when i look and smile, say ' don't worry, i'm pretty fine.'?
People keep changing, some into better, some into worse. The better ones, well congrats, you grew, you seem to see that the world is worth you loving. You cherish your love ones, like you cherish your life. Pain, and scars is something that makes you grow. You believe in phrases like,"WHAT doesn't kill you, makes your stronger.'' everything happens for a reason 'Your smiles and you act like u r happy all the time. But deep inside, everyone has this little voice that cries badly. We call it the devil.As for me i realise i m changing for the worse,try talking some sense in me now , but it did not seems to go in.For now i WILL change for good, getting out of troubles, being the old decent gal i used to be, the gal who have passion for everything she do,give in in everything she do, making promises that i will keep it in mind, listen to advices,studies hard and make everyone around me happy. Today i walk aimlessly, i break down while walking, i tried calling my parents again n again trying to get some of their love, but failed. I tried and tried to hold my tears, i wondering what had just happened , and now losing interest in studies is another problem ii have, i m afraid i m giving it up but didnt even try. What am i doing now?I think i should put in more focus on what i want and what i m doing now. I felt like i have hurt alot of ppl, esp. their feelings, their love n care but i didnt take it seriously, or thankful i shld say.This is so not me, i am not this kinda girl, i know how to appreciate things but this is just not me now.. the reasons behind, taking love for granted,stress there r so many things in my mind that i wanna let everyone know how i feel, but i cant find words to describe or ways to describe. I m feeling dead. Doing things aimlessly. For ppl who asking if i m alright, i m really alright, and for godness sake rmb i wont do anything sily that will hurt myself, the furthest i could go is to break down on my bed.
I wanna apologise to those ppl i love, to those i didnt appreciate their love, to those i misplace their trust.The endless torment of self mind torture ends aft this post see the change in me:).I ll prove it. Wif greatest apology,
christina.
once again thank you for making me realise n wake me up from hell.